Consuming Christian Consumers

We can laugh at ourselves, can't we? :-)


Consuming Christian Consumers

Congratulations! You've just been converted?
Let me tell you what you need to do.
Come with me to the church book store,
And we'll really show the world the new you!

You want folks to see that you've changed for the better,
And that now you have more of God's love.
But it's easier to tell that you're a believer
If you'll wear these 'Jesus fish' gloves.

So go grab that shirt that reads "Rockin' for Jesus"
And the key chain with the sinner's prayer.
You really need the mug with the Ten Commandments
And the "Hallelujah!" brush set for your hair.

Now, I see that you carry a paper-back bible,
But, you need one of these covers for style.
Better yet, if you want to look like a serious Christian,
Let's head to the leather-bound isle!

You'll want this translation, and that one, for sure.
And here's one that our old pastor used.
And this section of concordances, lexicons and helps,
Will keep you from getting confused.

Then, for your PC or mobile devices,
To save the books you buy from rip or tear,
We have all these and more in our vast collection
Of bibles and helps on software.

Now, the Bible is a good place to start,
But in order to be really well-read,
You should get lots of how-to books by various authors,
From soul-winning to raising the dead.

And now, for your music and movies of old,
You must, at once, toss them all out!
But there is good news, for just over there,
Is our multi-media "Glory Spout".

There's even a listening station, my friend,
With the latest in audio pleasure,
Everyone who thanks God on the sleeve of their cover,
Has made their way into this treasure.

To be certain, every movie, sound byte or book,
Knick-knack and toy in this room,
Is God-approved, holy, prudent and right,
For us Christian-consumers to consume.

If you don't believe me, ask the wholesaler,
For he told me so.
I just thank God we found this supplier,
From whom such blessings flow.

-Anonymous